I Have To Know

So, being a parent to a multicultural/multiracial child, I'm interested in knowing what you, dear internets, think of these here t-shirts I found through Blogging Baby.  I'd like to hear opinions from every last one of you, (come out, come out wherever you are dear lurkers!), but I'm especially interested in those of you who either have multicultural kids through birth or adoption and those of you that are African American or multicultural/multiracial yourselves (with or without kids).  What would you think if you saw this on a kiddo?  Please do tell. 

Comments

[chicagomama]

speechless here...too busy running over and buying up the entire supply of white bread + white rice for our family. I have even asked them if they will make the t-shirts in adult sizes so that everyone if our family can wear one! uh, not. my question is: are these really meant for multicultural families or rather are they meant for white families with children of color, and I would vote for the second choice.

[sedie]

They are so cute! I would so have my "multi culti cutie" wear one!I'd so buy one of each!!!!

[Chookooloonks]

Oh good LORD.

There's no WAY I would buy one of these for my kid. To me, these t-shirts are about catering to the general public's morbid curiosity about "what your kid is." As the mom in a truly multicultural family, I agree with chicagomama: this isn't about multicultural families, it's about white families with non-white children. And I suspect that for these types of families (like yours, for example), their children's race is SO not an issue. So why make it one?

[Jenny]

Wow, yuck! We don't have an interracial family, but I find those pretty offensive. I mean, why point out the obvious? Don't families like yours get enough questions as it is? Anyhow, interested to hear your take on them, too. :)

[erin]

I am white. Our baby, due in two short months, will most likely look white. Her donor is Spanish, Italian and Portugese. Her mommas are both white.

These shirts seem really insensitive to me- making light of something that may end up being painful for the kid someday. I agree with Chookooloonks that they appear to be geared towards white parents with kids of color. Would I look at it differently if it seemed geared towards families in which the parents are multi-racial? Yeah, I would.

I have heard too many biracial and internationally adopted kids speak of the pain they felt at being a different race than their parents. Specificially, they mention the fact that race was overlooked, not discussed, or ignored in their families.

I'm just not sure that white people in the US can afford to make light of something we (white folks) can barely talk about.

I guess that Chookooloonks' comment put it into perspective for me. While it might be that "race is SO not an issue" for the parents, it might be for the kids whose loving and well-meaning parent put them in these shirts. I do not presume to speak for those kids, but I have never heard a person of color living inthe US say that race is not an issue for them.

[Anne]

I'm uncomfortable with these shirts. I hate the way our culture places so much emphasis on the concept of race. And although I believe these shirts are meant to be in good fun and certainly not meant to be offensive, I still can't get behind them. I feel as if there is this inherent concept lurking behind the idea of "mixed race" that the "races" are not equal. If we know that the concept of "race" is just a social construct, why do we call children whose parents are of different "races" "mixed" or "biracial"? I find it very disturbing on some level. Certainly there is no denying (nor should there be) that there are cultural differences that accompany skin color differences, but if you are of German and Irish heritage, nobody calls you "mixed". If we step away from what we accept as the norm and deconstruct the human obsession with "race" it suddenly seems very weird to talk about "white people" and "black people". I imagine if a spaceship full of aliens landed on the earth and the occupants tried to understand it all, they would see us as a bit crazy.
But that's just my long-winded 2-cents...
-Anne

[sster]

Immediate reaction? Fetish-orama.

[cubbiegirl]

Ok, I'm not a multicultural family but I'm not sure I like them. Especially the last one. Seems to play into stereotypes too much.

[shelli]

My GUT reaction is that I am shocked and offended.

I mean, does it really matter?

Should I wear a t-shirt saying that I'm a glasses-wearing, white Jewish lesbian, partnered to a black Jewish lesbian?

I think it also assumes that people are stupid, and need things explained to them....

I hope you are sharing it to elicit a reaction such as mine - if you like them, then oops! I'm sorry...

[Dawn]

I don't like 'em. I don't like a lot of t-shirts like that. Like there are these t-shirts that one company sells that say, "My daddy's name is donor." It's funny until I picture some kid actually wearing it. It's nobody's business. And then I wouldn't put a shirt on Noah that read "100% white -- or near enough!" or something.

[beth]

We're not multicultural either, our family--well,unless you consider liberal/conservative : )

But I was rather stunned at the t-shirts. My gut reaction also is negative.

I agree with what the commenters before me wrote about the race issue and stereotyping. Also I think it would encourage more prying questions from well-meaning strangers.

Maybe I'd feel differently if those t-shirts came in adult sizes and people could choose to wear them if they wanted, rather than having their parents, however well-meaning, put them in one.

[Lisa]

I think the t-shits are pointless. Would an adult wear something like that? Maybe, but to blatantly label your child seems...well, pointless. My kids are half Chinese, but it's not like I wake them up in the morning, and while getting them dressed tell them they are part Chinese and part Irish, oh and here is your t-shirt proclaiming such. I don't put on a wee jumper proclaiming their racial origins, because it doesn't matter. They are human, they are loved, and they have interesting roots. Aren't most Americans' roots from all over the world anyway?

[sarah gilbert]

I'm glad you posted about this 'cause when I saw the post I wondered what you, and my sis-in-law (who's mixed herself, as is my niece) would think.

I think that this labeling shouldn't be done unless the child him/herself thought it was cool. in these sizes, the kids are DEFINITELY too young to be making informed judgment.

and the bread/rice one is in poor taste. imho

[AmandaS]

What about these?

http://www.cafepress.com/r_a_n.27413786

I wouldn't put my kiddos in them. It's not up to my young kids to have to explain themselves or make any kind of statement about racism. It's up to me as their mom (for now while they're young) to model that.

I think it would be appropriate for an adult to wear, if they chose. I can appreciate the frustration that would inspire someone to wear it.

[Mama Muse]

The thing that bothers me about these clothes is that they are designed for young children who cannot dress themselves. Maybe at a family potluck or something, where the crowd had the same sense of humor - or the joke included everyone - I could see how it could make sense in a silly way. Sometimes joke shirts or political shirts can be funny in the right crowd. But in public? It seems like an unfair yielding of parental power.

Little kids are soaking up all sorts of information about body language and social behavior. Wearing a shirt like this will change the way people interact with you and the kid will be aware of strange/negative body language being focused on him/her. I don’t think that anyone would say anything directly to the child, but plenty of people would be reading the shirt and having opinions about it. I can imagine that it would feel confusing to the child, and I feel it is inappropriate to put a young child in a confrontational situation when it comes to their own race (or religion or hair color or height or ….).

[hau]

These aren't for my sons. I find the blender one especially in poor taste since I've actually had someone make a comment to me once on "blended" babies (and I walked away feeling insulted rather than good about her comment.)

[Samantha]

As an African American I have to say that I am shocked and offended by these shirts. Why would anyone want to cater to the ignorant's question of the make up of your child. The US has a horrible history of oppressiving folks on the basis of the one drop rule. This is too dang close to shirts that say something equally stupid like, "I failed the brown bag test" or "Contains 2+ drops".

[KimN]

I would not put a shirt like that on my son. I think its ridiculous.

[Julie]

OH MY GD! Why? Why would anyone do that to their child? That is truly offensive.

[SZ]

I checked out the "about" page, just to see who came up with the shirts, and they were designed by an African-American woman with a white husband and a bio-kid. Does that change anyone's feeling about the shirts? I would find them much creepier if they were designed by white parents of transracially adopted kids (like those hideous "made in china" shirts.)

I think they could be offensive and they could be cute and it depends 100% on the context. As someone else said, at a family reunion, if everyone had one, it could be fun. But to put it on your kid at the mall just so you don't have to explain to strangers...a little weird.

[kenya]

well, oh well. if you look in my tshirt drawer, you will find many tshirts with political and personal statements (i.e. my tshirts from places like here http://www.nappyhairaffair.com/products.htm and my cool tshirt that said: front-"yes, i think two women together are sexy." back- "pro-lesbian") i checked out the link that amandas gave, and i would probably wear the "touch your own hair" tshirt as i constantly get treated as an anomaly due to my big, lovely hair. (mind you, i know that there is a time and a place. for expressions such as that. i do have some class! haha.) my wee one has one of those "cloth diaper/breast fed advocate tshirts. yet, the swirl tshirts? i cant help but to take a deep breath.

firstly, it borders on both blaxploitation and plain insensitivity. (the white bread/white rice one?!! woah! stereotype in surround sound!) the woman who came up with them - she may or may not have realized that some would find them in poor taste... i do understand the desire to proclaim pride in ones "mixed heritage", but that is not a statement that a child can consent to/is experienced enough to decree. again, i do wear provocative shirts. but i do that as a 28 year old woman who enjoys challenging others. i have to touch upon beth's statement that it would definitely be different if an adult chose to wear a swirled ice cream cone to represent his/her "chocolate/vanilla" stance. i would probably give him or her a smile and a nod for braving the societal tongue-biting in regards to race. powerful for an adult. if i saw this on a child, i would question the parents motives... are they trying to "show the world" that they are "liberal and openminded" or "not prejudiced at all! look! i have a biracial child!" (i have had someone say that to me. ugh.) or are they trying to instill pride in their wee one? hmm, the latter - though nice in intent- just seems to be the wrong way to go. for little ones, pride (and statements of such) should be about going to museums and learning about different types of music and cultures. in my opinion, self identification is a powerful thing, and thus individuals should choose their own labels... if they chose to label themselves at all.

second, it seems to play into that societal "what are you" question. i feel that this question and those like it exacerbates the race problems we have in present day society. (note - the question of "what is your cultural background" is different, especially in a positive context meant to learn more about a person.) it pushes seperation (or the feeling of) and has the potential to lead to a hierarchy of race. now, it is lovely to announce diversity. i could see someone wearing that "multi culti cutie" shirt at a festival or something. but to present it like an ingredients sticker on a child... hmmm. it just feels wrong.

i am so sorry for taking up sooooo much space on your blog with this! i am guilty of being long-winded, especially when my passions come into play! i have been asked "what my daughter is" (you have seen her, so you know what her characteristics are) and it pisses me off that 1- black kids who dont have "typical" hair or are a shade or two lighter than chocolate cant POSSIBLY be "all black" according to some and 2- when i give an absurd answer (i.e. she is an alien from the planet nebulon, or she is 100% asparagus by-product) or ask them why they felt compelled to ask me that, they dont understand i am reacting to their own absurdity for looking at my child like an object. what is she? geez. human? my daughter? a brown cherub? yeah.

and, let me add this final thought. if you choose to put one of these on z, and you feel justified in your reasonings AND STAND BY THEM, then go forward with that. she is your child, and you - as her mother and thus the most powerful force in her life- have the responsibility of her formative years. you will do what is best for yall. i am sure of this.

[greensunflower]

I think they are weird and off color humor. DH who is of another culture and has a pretty thick skin to all cultural humor even thinks they are weird for a kid.

[Mama M]

My husband is white (Swiss-American) and I am Asian (Filipino-American), and we pretty much have the same reaction to the shirts: Funny, yet offensive. Would I have my son wear one? Hell no. There's enough stupidity and ignorance about multiracial families - why would I want to support that?

[Emily]

Hi - I'm biracial... adopted... and frankly, I find those T-shirts really offensive. Not sure why they strike me that way -but I don't see the need to advertise race in such a crude way. Not sure I'm making sense - just my gut reaction!

[Patti]

I know you specifically asked for reactions from muticultural parents, or parents of multicultural kids, but I'm still going to throw this out there--I thought they were kind of cute. I'm chock-full of white liberal guilt and I feel like I'm probably supposed to be horrified by these, but I'm not.

There are plenty of examples, for better or worse, of clothing and bumper stickers and music that celebrates ethnic pride (Kiss Me, I'm Irish!), but where's the parade for the kid who straddles two cultures? Why not have a teeshirt, and why can't it be tongue-in-cheek?

Race is a big serious issue in this country, and I wonder if in part it isn't because we're so afraid not to take it seriously? It seems impossible to ignore race, because it would be at the expense of celebrating ethnicity and culture. Is it that bad, then, to embrace it a little?

And now back to my regularly scheduled shutting up about racial matters.