Hair culture question II

you guys are all so fabulous.  thanks for answering my questions!  i love all of the different views i received in the comments to my last post.  i kind of thought the whole idea of never cutting my kid's hair was not necessarily the norm - maybe just my coworker's norm.  i am going to cut her hair and i'm going to call around today to see if i can find a salon that will be gentle with me.  i'll ask my friend who i know will be informative and helpful this time!  trust me, the child needs a little trim. 

as for the cornrows, i do want to learn.  i know it's hard, but typically if i put my mind to something, i tend to be able to pick it up and do well.  right now, z is too into being independent to let me fiddle with her hair beyond moisturizing it (sometimes that's even too much for her!).  i'm thinking i'll try to find one of those model heads with curly hair and see if i can first perfect it on a non-moving subject.  then i'll move on to a live model... maybe my friend's child who has hair that is similar in  texture and curl to Zade's. 

oh - and if you're interested in knowing the hair care routine we use for the little miss, it includes 'washing' her hair with conditioner and combing through it while it's wet with the conditioner in it.  we use the brown nature's gate one that smells all spicy and nice.  then when we get her out of the tub, we pat her hair dry and lather it up with a good dose of a thick moisturizer.  currently we're using a grooming cream from kiehls.  i don't necessarily like the way the grooming cream smells, so next time i'm going to buy some goodies from one of my favorites - carol's daughter.  i've tried oiling her hair with olive oil, but i think her hair is a little too fine for the oil products at this point.  i like the way it looks better when we use a cream type moisturizer on it - it keeps it from getting frizzy and i think it moisturizes better overall.  after the moisturizing process, sometimes we let her go natural, sometimes i put four pig tails in, sometimes i twist sections into little tight curls (but her hair isn't keeping twists in so well these days).  eventually, when she gets herself a full head o hair, i'd like to be able to do the cornrows.  in the event that i cannot make that work on my own, i'll either take her to a salon, or see if one of my friends will help out. 

and regarding the last comment on my post, i definitely wasn't trying to villify my coworker.  i do really like her and we have a good 'acquaintance' relationship.  i think she's just pretty old fashioned and she probably also spoke before she really thought.  we're all guilty of it - and if that's the worst i ever get - i can totally handle it. 

lastly, thanks for the list of websites!  i'm going to have fun checking all of them out today.  and i'll add one to the list.  have any of you heard of the yahoo group called adoption hair care?  it was started by the older sister of three kids adopted from haiti.  her parents didn't know how to do their hair very well when they came home, so she taught herself how to care for their hair, including how to cornrow.  she's amazing!  someday i hope to be as good as she is. 

Comments

[Jen (yup, another one)]

A couple of years ago an author did a reading (well, a demonstration, really) from her book about caring for and styling African American children's hair. She wrote it for interracial families, adoptive families, and families who didn't have nearby relatives to help them learn tradtional ways.

It's All Good Hair: The Guide to Styling and Grooming Black Children's Hair by Michele N-K Collison

If you haven't seen it, it might be useful. I have NOT looked at it myself; just heard about it.

[mamamarta]

hey, i just re-read my comment, and i'm really sorry if it came off as snarky and self-righteous. not intended at all.... i love your blog and your insights. mostly i just wanted to say that i think you should let those comments roll off your back, which it sounds like you're doing.

marta

[kenya]

i think i commented to both of these hair posts on the first one.

[dawn]

I'm just now coming to this! I've also been told not to cut little black girl's hair -- ever. But what I'm running up against (and it sounds like you are too) that I KNOW what the cultural expectations are for very curly/coarse AA hair but not for the less textured hair. Looking around at the other biracial kids and the other AA kids whose hair has less texture, the more traditional styles (ie., cornrows) really don't seem to work. Madison's hair just isn't textured enough to hold a braid.

Now so far I have not gotten criticism for leaving her hair wild and free. Our routine is that we wash it just with water or with a baking soda paste and then every day spritz it with water and then leave-in conditioner. Anything heavier makes her hair greasy and drags out her curls. I don't mind it being a little frizzy and like I said, that seems to be an acceptable norm around here. But I'm not sure at what point I should be doing more than teensy ponytails and no one can really tell me so I'm just leaving it. I am wondering when she'll need the ends trimmed though. No one really seems to have an answer about that either. It's like she's in a no-man's land because her hair is just way curly. There's no way she could hold those cute little zig-zag parts and braids.