i have so many things lately that i've thought i should blog - but i just haven't done it.
i survived the family visit after many completely inappropriate sexual comments from my dad to his girlfriend in front of the children. he's a fucking thirteen-year-old again. isn't it insane how as adults we now have to parent our parents? dude - i have one child to worry about - i don't need a 57-year-old, too. and the name thing? really fucking annoying. everytime he said her name - which he said like three million times - i asked "what" and was ignored every single time. don't get me wrong - she was nice and nice to my kid and my niece and nephew. she was just also acting like a ditzy thirteen-year-old. exhausting. but otherwise ok. survivable, at least.
next week, one of zade's godmamas is coming to visit - so that's something we're looking forward to. and i also may get to meet m from an elephant's gestation! she'll be traveling out this way so i'm going to try to hop in the car and go meet her for dinner and play time. but m? i haven't read any blogs in forever. so i'm going to try to catch up on yours this week. in the event that i don't - please forgive me and be prepared to give me the full debrief. i can't wait to meet you!
since i haven't read blogs in forever, i need to catch up. but for some reason i'm finding it really, really hard to do that. i used to look forward to it and now i feel like it's a chore. so i'm not reading. but that's not because i'm not interested in you all. actually, i think about it all the time. i wonder when the referrals will come in for the families waiting to adopt from china. i've got two friends entering the china adoption process and i'm interested to see how long the wait times actually pan out to be. i know a couple of you are waiting to or have very recently had babies and i want to congratulate you. and soon, i will. i promise. i'll be back soon. just not right now.
right now - life is just too much. too much fun, too much stress, too much boredom - too much for me to think beyond doing the everyday chores that never end and keeping myself from melting down during the boring times when i've lost my motivation.
or maybe it's just that the laptop finally went kaput and now i must sit in the cold basement and type on the desktop - so maybe i just don't want to be in the basement during all of my free time.
but. the adoption - for those of you who have asked - is still indefinitely on hold. actually, it's not officially. but we've been dragging our feet on the homestudy. it's written and done. but before the agency can get it notarized and a copy sent to our agency, i must complete a few pieces of paperwork that they forgot to have us complete in the beginning. so last saturday we went to get our fingers printed. those are in the mail to the agency today. and the form for z's pediatrician to complete will be faxed this afternoon. and hubby will complete the form i was certain he completed and we sent in but in fact we did not - tonight. and then the homestudy will be completed and sent to the agency. within a few weeks - our agency will be bugging us for our profile. which is not ready, either. it could be, but i've just not been concerned with it. completely unconcerned, in fact. and then we'll be waiting. but we might - well - more likely than not - pause some more. you see - we'd be fine if we knew it would be a six month wait. or even probably a three month wait. but the fact remains that it could be a two minute wait. and after the hell we went through last time/ i'm certain it would be less than two minutes. and i'm just not ready to hop on a plane and bring a new baby home. besides, my tits need a little more preparation (but they are leaking!). so who knows, right? we've discussed it - but never in real-life time frames. soon, we must. but we've both been avoiding the subject like the plague.
so. that's that. and this is this. and i'm sorry for my absence. again.
oh - and anyone interested - yes, that was me with the article in the recent adoptive families magazine. i'm so proud.
thanks for staying interested.