from kohana, 'So did you get fired up about ethical adoption before or after you adopted? When you started the first time, how critical were you of your agency's practice? I've learned a WHOLE lot after going through adoption #1 and I'm sure it will influence how we adopt in the future. Has the same been true for you?'
well, while i was pretty good about researching agencies and making sure they met my criteria the first time around, i definitely didn't realize the adoption industry was still as unethical as it is. it wasn't until i was in an open adoption that i realized how badly first parents are treated still and became fired up about it.
going through the process and waiting all that time gave me a lot of free time and i found out about unethical adoptions through the internet and the books i read. when we first started out, researching the ethical aspect of adoption agencies for us meant making sure their international programs were licensed and approved and so on. making sure there wasn't any illegal baby trafficking happening.
when we signed up with the domestic program, we had to choose which of their partnering agencies we wanted to have our profile sent to. we ended up with only one for a number of reasons, but a lot of them were because agencies charged different prices for african american versus biracial babies and had other practices we didn't like. this second time around, i was so much more particular when researching and choosing an agency because of everything i had learned(i had excel spreadsheets).
for a long time i didn't know that women were still being coerced into placing their children, weren't receiving adequate counseling or were being told that open adoption was a binding agreement and then later had adoptions closed on them. i didn't know that there are still agencies that have women move to more adoption friendly states to give birth, so that in the end they have less rights or that social workers counseling women considering relinquishing their child sometimes get offered bonuses if the woman does terminate her rights. i wish ethical adoption was something that wasn't so grassroots still. but articles like this give me hope.