AfrIndie Mum

the new me

thanks to the amazing skills of the multi-talented dawn (i mean, she's a beautiful writer, a wonderful mom, and now a computer buff, too?  i just love everything about her - i could have a dawn lovefest all day long.) i have a new site! 

this one will remain up for a while longer - but please change your bookmarks to my new address. 

better than what i've got

really, i've got nothing. 

so please allow me to direct your attention to a locale four blocks from my home.  watch her closely.  in the coming weeks, she'll be birthing a child in a kiddie pool in her living room.  and folks - there's talk of a live broadcast.  in her own words, "We're gonna try to stream as much of this party as we can."

see?  way more interesting than me. 

i have nothing interesting to say

my serger broke, so i got a fancy new one for early christmas.  i'm very excited.  that's it.  that's all i've got. 

new post from me

on wordpress.  because i can't seem to password protect just one post on my blog.  it's free for the viewing.  email me at [email protected] if you're interested.  mwah. 

mish mash

we had such a nice thanksgiving.  we were invited back friday night for thanksgiving-leftovers-made-into-mouth-watering-thai-food.  my god that was the best meal i've had in a long time.  my friend's mama can do shockingly tasty things with some leftovers.  and z got her fill of sticky rice (rolled into balls and stuffed greedily into cheeks all squirrel-like).  fish sauce... mmmmm. 

*****

z's peed, unprompted, into the potty three times in the last two days.  she is amazing, of course.  we went to target today to get her elmo and dora underwear.  once i've had a chance to wash them, we'll see if she has any interest. 

*****

we're just slowly chugging along, enjoying the four-day weekend.  i'm going to go watch harry potter and the goblet of fire with husband. 

potty success

today, for the first time ever, zade successfully peed in her potty.  something's working.  we were all very thrilled, we exchanged a lot of high fives, and zade had ice cream with chocolate sauce for breakfast. 

irreverant thanks

i am thankful for that glass of red wine i consumed at 1:15 p.m. today.  it was a yummy treat while i was making the sweet potatoes and green bean casserole for our potluck thanksgiving with friends this evening. 

i am thankful for the prescription medications that keep me sane. 

i am thankful for books - which also keep me sane. 

i am thankful for the internet, for email, for blogging. 

i am thankful for my husband's amazing idea to install the phone in the furthest (farthest?) part of the basement so i always have a reason to indulge my phone phobia. 

i am thankful that my daughter slept in her own bed last night and didn't wake us up when she crawled in our bed early this morning. 

i am thankful for sticky rice.  the food of the gods and one that is virtually mess-free when feeding toddlers.  i am thankful that our multicultural thanksgiving will probably include this as a side dish. 

i am thankful for my parent's divorce.  without it i would have certainly married the wrong man.   

i am thankful for my fear of needles.  without it i wouldn't have my beautiful girl. 

it's 9:30 and i'm going to bed.  tomorrow we're dining with friends.  i'm so happy i don't have to travel this year. 

i've complied, now it's your turn

i've answered all the questions (i think, if i've missed anything, someone let me know, ok?) and now i have one for you! 

with the upcoming holidays, i'm interested in the opinions everyone holds regarding santa - in relation to your kids.  there's a big contingent that doesn't like santa and will not raise their children to believe in the myth.  i'm interested in hearing everyone talk about what they're doing with their kids and why. 

i don't know what we're going to do with zade yet - but i do find the arguments interesting.  my sister and i grew up believing in santa (and mrs. santa gave gifts in our house, too.  equal opportunity and all).  i think she started asking questions about whether or not santa was real a little older than me.  i asked one day in the car when i was about four if santa was real.  i'm pretty sure i was sitting on my mom's lap in the back seat - such were the days before car seat laws.  i questioned her first - i asked if santa was real or make believe.  she asked me if i thought santa was real or not and i said no.  she said - i think you're right.  she may have counseled me on being sensitive to my friends' beliefs.  i think i cried for a minute and then was on to my next thought.  i don't think this affected me negatively, though. 

so - take it away - who wants to tell me what they think?   anyone?   

from kohana, 'So did you get fired up about ethical adoption before or after you adopted? When you started the first time, how critical were you of your agency's practice? I've learned a WHOLE lot after going through adoption #1 and I'm sure it will influence how we adopt in the future. Has the same been true for you?'

well, while i was pretty good about researching agencies and making sure they met my criteria the first time around, i definitely didn't realize the adoption industry was still as unethical as it is.  it wasn't until i was in an open adoption that i realized how badly first parents are treated still and became fired up about it. 

going through the process and waiting all that time gave me a lot of free time and i found out about unethical adoptions through the internet and the books i read.  when we first started out, researching the ethical aspect of adoption agencies for us meant making sure their international programs were licensed and approved and so on.  making sure there wasn't any illegal baby trafficking happening. 

when we signed up with the domestic program, we had to choose which of their partnering agencies we wanted to have our profile sent to.  we ended up with only one for a number of reasons, but a lot of them were because agencies charged different prices for african american versus biracial babies and had other practices we didn't like. this second time around, i was so much more particular when researching and choosing an agency because of everything i had learned(i had excel spreadsheets). 

for a long time i didn't know that women were still being coerced into placing their children, weren't receiving adequate counseling or were being told that open adoption was a binding agreement and then later had adoptions closed on them.  i didn't know that there are still agencies that have women move to more adoption friendly states to give birth, so that in the end they have less rights or that social workers counseling women considering relinquishing their child sometimes get offered bonuses if the woman does terminate her rights.  i wish ethical adoption was something that wasn't so grassroots still.  but articles like this give me hope.