we received another call from our homestudy agency (not the agency we're going through to actually adopt). there is a woman in portland who is pregnant with twins... a boy and a girl... African American and probably Native American. she is due in june, having pre-term labor and is in the hospital in an attempt to stay pregnant until mid-may. she is being forced by dhs to place her children for adoption, or they will be taken by dhs at birth because of circumstances beyond the control of the mother. this is sad, but from what i can tell, open adoption is probably her best option at this point, all things considered.
they want to show our profile to her. unfortunately, i don't think hubby is quite up for twins just yet. sad.
Whoa. Whoa. I am thinking of you and your decision. It is not for me to know but I hope hubby has a change of heart.
Posted by: sster | 18 April 2006 at 04:36 PM
Wow... this is huge. Keep us posted. xo
Posted by: Marisa | 18 April 2006 at 05:41 PM
Sad situation for the mother...if the babies are partially Native American, do you need to comply to the Indian Child Welfare Act? Good luck, though, with hubby--twins would be wonderful.
Posted by: Julie | 19 April 2006 at 04:15 AM
Such a sad situation. I do believe if they are part Native American - you have to get approval from the Tribe. Whatever the situation, I hope it works out for everyone.
Posted by: Julie | 19 April 2006 at 05:36 AM
Wow twins! We were open to twins the first go round, but now, I'm thinking how would we have done it? I know that it is posible, but I totally understand the hesitation, and hope you guys come to do the right decision as a family. I also hope the birthmother is able to find good parents for the children who will provide her with an open relationship if that is what she is wishing for.
Posted by: Sylvie | 19 April 2006 at 06:02 AM
Twins are a big deal. They're WAY more work than one. We almost fostered newborn twin girls last summer.
We have friends with 2 year old twin girls (and a 5 year old boy) and they don't know why anyone would have twins on purpose. :)
But if these kiddos are meant to be yours, you and hubby will find the strength to raise 'em.
Posted by: Karin | 19 April 2006 at 07:48 AM
Oh. wow.
Being an identical twin I am always fascinated by their unique relationship, and of course biased in my opinion that it's a great way to go but yeah, not easy.
My take on it is that it's double the work for easily the first year and then it kind of starts to pay you back. Most twins are pretty into each other having known no other way and they really rely on one another for entertainment, comfort, bickering and the rest. I know that for me the safest feeling in the world is knowing I have "my other" out there and there is a deepness to our relationship that exists with no one else in the world.
You tell B to give me a call. We'll talk twins.
Posted by: liz | 19 April 2006 at 08:12 AM
Hmmmnn...that certainly would make for an interesting year! I look forward to hearing about your husband's decision...
Posted by: PBfish | 19 April 2006 at 09:15 AM
Wow... Best wishes as you sort through this possibility.
Posted by: Brianna | 19 April 2006 at 09:37 AM
Wow! I think twins would be neat and personally, I would agree to such a match immediately! However my DH, like yours, would probably not be as inclined to have 3 little ones under the age of 2.
Did your DH say he'd think it over, or is his answer already, "No"?
Posted by: Overwhelmed! | 19 April 2006 at 10:11 AM
Sending you support in making the best decision for your family!!
Posted by: sedie | 19 April 2006 at 10:45 AM
I think it sounds neat too! Good luck and lots of support!
Posted by: Jenn | 19 April 2006 at 03:05 PM
If the children are Native American, does the Indian Child Welfare Act apply? I know when we were adopting Apple (15 years ago) that this was a big deal. A tribe had to essentially relinquish the child as well as the parents of the child.
Posted by: Lisa V | 19 April 2006 at 04:36 PM
Twins. Egads! :) I'm thinking of you and Husband and Z right now as well as the woman in Portland and the two babies.
Posted by: Jenna | 20 April 2006 at 07:46 AM
Wow, lucky you !!! That is pretty much our ideal as adoptive parents to be... Believe me we will be thrilled with whatever match we get.
Posted by: NN | 21 April 2006 at 02:00 PM
Twins and only a few weeks away. That is really daunting but also totally cool at the same time.
Posted by: HeatherJ | 21 April 2006 at 11:25 PM
Wow, twins - when it rains it pours. It's tragic that the mother has no chance of getting her act together and getting her children back, really tragic. Yes, an open adoption would be her best option, I hope she gets parents as good as you if she doesn't get you.
Posted by: Avonlea | 22 April 2006 at 06:46 PM
I don't understand this. Unless she is on drugs (which is completely under her control)under what circumstance does DHS have the right? And even if DHS takes the children when they are born, is there no chance this mother could get her situation together and get her babies back later?
Posted by: jasai | 25 April 2006 at 07:50 PM
unfortunately, no. she's schizophrenic with delusions and developmentally disabled. she's unable to parent.
Posted by: afrindiemum | 26 April 2006 at 11:41 AM
oh, wow. that is out of her control and very unfortunate. I hope if those babies do not find a home with you they will find a good home someplace. best.
Posted by: jasai | 30 April 2006 at 09:45 PM