adoptive parent reading list

i'm looking for suggestions for a potential adoptive parents reading list.  like - a what you should read before you adopt even though they don't tell you about it list.  i know i didn't come across any of the good ones until well after i should have been directed to them.  so now i'm looking for any that you all would recommend.  i know there have to be more out there.... 

suggestions welcome from all. 

Comments

[wavybrains]

The only one I have liked so far is Toddler Adoption by Weavercraft. Many of the others I've checked out from the library have been too basic or too rose-colored glasses.

[Kohana]

One of my favorites is A Love Like No Other": edited by Jill Smolowe. It is a compilation of essays from adoptive parents representing domestic, international, transracial, and gay/lesbian adoption. I feel like it gives a pretty gritty look into adoption issues. I also appreciate "In Their Own Voices" (Roorda?) which is a compilation of essays by adult transracial adoptees. And lastly, not an adoption book but a good book for mixed race families is "Yellow: Race in America Beyond Black and White"(I can't think of the author offhand).

[Jenny]

I really liked "Insight Into Adoption : What Adoptive Parents Need to Know About the Fundamental Differences Between a Biological and an Adopted Child --- and its Effect on Parenting" by Barbara Taylor Blomquist. Very enlightening.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0398072019/sr=1-54/qid=1155591063/ref=sr_1_54/104-3914527-3546346?ie=UTF8&s=books

[Heather]

I'd highly recommend "Damaged Angels", a hard-hitting autobiographical account of an adoptive mother/journalist who struggled to raise a beautiful, yet deeply troubled, daughter. Repeatedly misdiagnosed by the medical and counselling professionals, this girl was finally assessed in adulthood as having fetal alchohol spectrum disorder.
A valiant testimony to the power of a parent's love, this should be required reading for all families considering adoption from within North America's social services or the Eastern European countries where alchohol abuse is prevalent.
Secondly, I loved "Attaching in Adoption" by Deborah Gray as a guidebook for adoptive parents. She really helps trouble shoot with practical ideas and helpful mock family scenarios. Adopting brings with it emotional issues that you just don't encounter with bio children and the usual parenting tactics just don't work with these kids. I think this book is a must-own.

[Brooklyn Mama]

I love The Velveteen Father by Jesse Green. And The Kid by Dan Savage.

[Christine]

I've read some good books on adoption and far too many mediocre ones. Does anyone have a suggestion for a book to give to our extended family members who are holding back their questions or being inappropriate?

[Margie]

I wish I had read Joyce Maguire Pavao's "The Family of Adoption" far earlier.

[cloudscome]

I would like to suggest everyone get a free account at LibraryThing.com and put their adoption books into their catalog. I set up a group there today so we can share and discuss all the books we read, like, hate, etc. The url for my library with adoption tags is http://www.librarything.com/catalog.php?tag=adoption

I haven't written any comments or reviews on my books there yet because I am just getting started in this. I think it could be a fantastic way to share our thoughts on books so I hope many of you will join me. Thanks for bringing this up!

A book I don't have in my library that I really loved is Loving Across The Color Line by Sharon Rush, which I think I mentioned recently to you. It was really thoughtfully and insightfully written.

[Melissa]

In Their Own Voices
by Rita J. Simon, Rhonda M. Roorda

Transracial adoptees tell their stories - African American adopted by white families mostly during the late 60's early 70's.

[shannon]

Far and away the best book for would-be domenstic, transracial adopters:

http://www.womenandchildrenfirst.com/NASApp/store/Product;jsessionid=aol2n6HhQWO5?s=showproduct&isbn=0465070590

[shannon]

Oh, and I have an annotated bibliography that I haven't updated in ages (I could add about 15 books, but have been to busy--you, know, parenting--to do that.

http://www.lilysea.net//adoption.html

[Poor_Statue]

The Family of Adoption by Joyce Maguire Pavao, in my opinion, should be required reading for anyone touched by adoption or anyone who works with kids or people. One of the things I really like about it is that it has examples from all types of adoptions: infant, older-child, international, foster-adopt, etc.

It's a pretty easy read so I think it's a great one for extended family, too.

[kim.kim]

My book when it gets written, and have them buy my cd as well.

I don't know, I think they should read your blog and other blogs. I think the blogs are better than books. Blogs of people waiting to adopt, fertility challenged women blogs, definetly adoptee blogs and of course first mother blogs.

Could you please change my url on your links list? I changed the name of my blog and if you wouldn't mind can you call me a first mum or a natural mum? Birthmother doesn't feel comfortable for me. Thank you.

[Lainie]

As part of our pre-adoption reading we were recommended the following texts:

Eldridge, S. 2004, Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew, Bantam Dell, USA

Armstrong, S. & Slaytor, P. (eds) 2001, The Colour of Difference: Journeys in Transracial Adoption, The Federation Press, Sydney

The first book is a must have - a resource to be referred to before, during and after the adoption process. The second is more relevant to an Australian context but worth it - stories of adoption from a variety of countries.

[Susan]

We gave Joyce Pavao's book to family members early in the adoption process. My sister really liked it, and I still look at it from time to time.

Our social worker recommended Deborah Gray's book (Attachment in Adoption, or something like that) and Gregory Keck's Parenting the Hurt Child, and both of them were helpful.