another from American Family:  "How is the stay at home parenting thing working out for you?  Are you loving it or going insane?  Or Maybe both?"

ever since i began staying home with z, she's been a little insane.  at fifteen months, she suddenly turned into a toddler and she's one challenging child.  she's smart as a whip (i take no credit for this - it's obvious that it's something innate) but aren't they all?  she's so much fun, but she exhausts me to my core.  staying at home with zade has kept me so busy i've lost five pounds without even realizing it.  i am on the go one hundred percent of the time it seems.  no matter how much i try, she refuses to be exhausted.  her activity level and her ability to manipulate me sometimes astound me. 

when i first started staying home with her, we had a nice routine.  she napped once in the morning (4 hours) and once in the afternoon (1-2 hours).  i had plenty of time to myself and to get the house clean and dinner prepared.  she recently and abruptly stopped napping.  unfortunately, she still needs a nap and without it she's a holy terror.  and then she refuses to go to bed at night because she's wired!  so we've had some recent days of staying inside and being low-key in an attempt to get her sleep routine back on track.  it's normalizing a little bit.  but i'm knocking on wood because i don't really trust it yet.  without her naps - we are not a happy family. 

but even with all the things that set in motion our rough beginning (traveling, more traveling, asthma, asthma medications, teething) i'd still rather be doing this than sitting at a desk and dealing with someone else's shit all day.  the only shit i deal with here is my family's and i prefer it that way. 

the good things far outweigh the bad aspects of stay-at-home-parenting.  i mean come on - what other job allows you to surf the internet or knit all day if you want to.  in your pajamas.  and z is damn cute these days, too.  the challenging moments are definitely balanced with the cute moments. 
like lately - z has been waking me up in the mornings by kissing my lips and whispering, 'mama, wake up.  i wanna go in duh wi-wing-woom.  come on mama.  vamanos' (said dominoes).  in the bath tub the other night she looked up at me and said, 'mama, i a fishy' and then, 'mama? i want a puma'.  she makes me laugh more than anyone else.  i am enchanted with her little apple cheeks and cat-like dimples under her eyes.  her bare bum is the most adorable thing i've ever seen and i'm going to give her a complex if i don't stop pinching it.  zade can now count to twenty, mostly without messing up and knows the abc song, mostly without messing up.  if i'm in the kitchen making dinner and she's playing in another room, she'll run in and look up and ask, 'mama?  what doing?'. 

i personally think she'd thrive in and enjoy tremendously a group learning environment.  i've begun looking lazily for preschools that would be appropriate, but i'm not really ready to let her go yet.  but i do think she'd love a few days a week at some hippie waldorf salad emilio-parmasiana reggiano school.  who on earth knows what all those philosophies mean anyway?  there's one school here that i'm researching and they don't have any toys that represent anything.  so like they play with only silk scarves, blocks and real-life things.  i don't even know if that's good or not. 

so in all - stay-at-home-mamaing is kicking my arse.  but i love it. 

Comments

[kate]

oh - I'm so in love with the waldorf schools...It's not for everyone, that's for sure - and it's way off the mainstream course - but I'm loving everything I've learned about it thus far.

I'm sure that z would thrive in a school of some sort - many kids do. But please don't feel rushed to place her there. Kids are way too rushed these days. I promise you that more time at home with you will be good for her. Don't feel pressured to place her in institutional space - children learn naturally from the world around them - they don't need planned activies and worksheets.

[mamamarta]

going to pre-school has been transformative for micah. we found one that is perfect for him -- mostly play, a little circle time, diverse, a beautiful setting. no particular philosophy as far as i can tell, just play play play in an atmosphere that is kind and respectful and has high expectations of kids. he's making friends, having *so* much fun, learning to control his frustration -- just blossoming. he started at almost 3.5yo, and i think we were both ready about 6 months earlier, but the school is on an academic schedule (not in the summer) so we waited.

it's been really good for me too.